ask dr. read      Idaho Statesman columns      new articles      biography      formal resume      philosophy      services offered      contact dr. read      psychology links      other links      forms      pictures		Don't be Afraid to Ask Qustions of Potential Therapist by James M. Read, Ph.D. I wouldn't want to see a therapist who has never struggled with psychological pain, difficult losses, or emotional distress. I want someone who has been there too, and knows what it is like to hurt. And how to find healthy and effective ways to cope. But I also wouldn't want to see a therapist who is so stuck in his own pain that he can't be effective with me. Or worse, is inappropriately meeting his own emotional needs through me. How a therapist is living his personal life has more impact, I think, on his professional practice than is true in many other professions. In part that's because personal and professional self-esteem are so closely intertwined. So what can you ask a therapist you are considering seeing? Dare you inquire whether he or she has ever been in therapy? Or is seeing a therapist now? Or has been divorced, or married, or has children? I think you ought to be able to ask any and all such questions. If you're dealing with marital or family problems you might feel more comfortable with a therapist who is married and has children. Or who has been through the pain of divorce and knows first hand what you are experiencing. Ask. If you are dealing with an alcohol or drug problem, you might want to see a therapist who is recovering. Maybe not. But you certainly ought to be able to ask, and make your decision based on honest information. It's becoming more common for clients to "interview" prospective therapists. I get calls now and then from people who are considering making an appointment with me, but need to decide between several therapists where the best "fit" is. I don't mind answering questions. Some clients have asked to come in for a brief in-person visit before making up their minds. I don't mind that either. So don't be afraid to ask questions. Even quite personal ones. Being comfortable with your therapist can make it a lot easier to work effectively. James M. Read, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist  Originally published in The Idaho Stateman newspaper (Boise, Idaho) July 1, 1993 For more information, or to contact the author (that's me!), write to James M. Read, Ph.D., jread@jread.com