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by James M. Read, Ph.D. When bad things happen, children tend to blame themselves. It doesn't take very many bad things to happen for some children to develop what researchers call a "pessimistic explanatory style." Children (and adults) with a pervasively pessimistic way of looking at things tend to get depressed. They blame themselves for what has happened and may act helpless at home and at school. They give up. Having been depressed in the past is the best predictor that someone will get depressed again in the future. It's the depressing truth: if you've been there before, you're more likely to get depressed again. More likely than someone who has never been depressed. The same is true for children. So what we want to do is try to prevent the development of depression in the first place. As is often the case, the most effective intervention is the earliest! It is negative, painful and traumatic family events that tend to produce depression and a negative self-depreciating and self-blaming explanatory style. Children need help to understand negative events without blaming themselves. So when bad things happen within a family or to a child we should be quick to respond. Divorce, death of a parent or sibling, physical trauma or illness -- all of these are obviously painful and should result in special attention paid to the children. By intervening quickly after the first serious negative family event (and any further ones) we may be able to prevent the development of a chronic depressive pattern. Don't wait until symptoms emerge. Step in quickly. Early preventive measures work best. Professional help may be needed following major losses, but there is a lot parents can do on their own. Children need facts. They need explanations. They need to understand what happened and why. They need a supportive and encouraging atmosphere in which it is OK to ask questions and express sad, angry or hurt feelings. They need to know that they are not responsible for what happened. They need help to avoid developing a pessimistic and self-blaming explanatory style. Lots of warm talking, listening and explaining helps. A hopeful and positive outlook is crucial. James M. Read, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist Originally published in The Idaho Stateman newspaper (Boise, Idaho) May 13, 1993 For more information, or to contact the author (that's me!), write to James M. Read, Ph.D., jread@jread.com |
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