ask dr. read      Idaho Statesman columns      new articles      biography      formal resume      philosophy      services offered      contact dr. read      psychology links      other links      forms      pictures		Who Do You Turn To? by James M. Read, Ph.D. If you've got a problem to whom do you turn? Twenty years ago people said they usually talked to friends, neighbors, or their pastor. As we have become increasingly isolated, and perhaps overly self-reliant and independent, that is no longer the case. Recent studies of both rural and urban communities show that people now say they turn for help to paid professionals, or to no one at all. Research by psychologist Gary Melton of the University of Nebraska looked at perceptions of neighborhood life in three inner city and two small town locations. Residents in all locations were asked whom they consult with when they have problems with their children. Regardless of social class distinctions or economic factors virtually no one mentioned asking relatives, friends, neighbors, or clergy. Poor inner city residents most frequently said they asked no one for help, or they went to the emergency room at the local hospital. Wealthier people in the suburbs or small towns said they consulted with paid professionals. Many of the people surveyed could not think of an instance when they had obtained help from an available agency or institution. An equivalent number couldn't think of an instance in which they had rendered help to or done something for someone else's child within the past year. Dr. Melton concludes that because of poor communication and interaction between families parents can't tell and don't know what other parents are doing. Social class and wealth make no difference. We aren't talking to each other, and we don't often enough help each other with family problems. We don't compare notes, and we don't know how our neighbors deal with common problems. The U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Negelect, on which Dr. Melton serves as vice-chair has issued a report in which it is stated that "the key to treating and preventing child abuse and neglect is to focus on neighborhoods." His group has been looking at social policy strategies and programs to help people within neighborhoods become more effectively connected and interreliant. Sounds good to me. We can start by talking more with friends, family, neighbors and relatives. Share what is happening. There is a lot of wisdom and help available through informal "neighborhood" networks. We don't always have to be so quick to turn to a paid professional. James M. Read, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist  Originally published in The Idaho Stateman newspaper (Boise, Idaho) December 16, 1993 For more information, or to contact the author (that's me!), write to James M. Read, Ph.D., jread@jread.com